


Msarys Sues adn Trollls and Computers and Hremione

by songquake



Series: Firewhiskey Fics [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Firewhiskey Fic, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 10:44:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songquake/pseuds/songquake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Firewhiskey Fic, January 2013<br/>*snoret*& you want summary of this??? oty<br/>sa bot meta. (why is meta this nly think i could typine ine that seenteence???) (must have slowed down for it). </p><p>NOTE: FWF is a LiveJournal community devoted to producing works while drunk, with no beta-readers or editing allowed. Therefore, one should expect hilarity, not coherence. And definitely not good writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Msarys Sues adn Trollls and Computers and Hremione

**Author's Note:**

> **I am of legal drinking age in my region:** (yes/no) YES. unless it changed. and now only presidents are old enough to drink.  
>  **Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom:** HP: Hremine/Troll(mary sue-gary stu)  
>  **Challenge:** trolss and mary sues adn dcoccomputers.  
>  **Summary:** *snoret* & you want summary of this??? oty  
> sa bot meta. (why is meta this nly think i could typine ine that seenteence???) (must have slowed down for it).  
>  **Rating/Warnings:** dubs-con involveing trolll! and NCE18.  
>  **Word count:** 1316  
>  **Author's Notes (if any):** Drunk fic. Involvign trollsand mary ues an dcomputers.

So trollsa re really clumsy. like me when I' ma drikning. But this troll that istyenv tryping typing right nwo, she's a good gtrol, cuncommonly clever. (weee see how did i do self-insertion there? nBEST SMARY SUE EVER). infact, the torl is tyoing this very story reight now with columusy fingers, tying to get out a very good story. but smaybe i need to be a boy troll this time. 

so this troll, HE is trying to type iwth bigh clumsy fingers. his fingers have to be big, because his hadns are big so his feet can be beig because what wdo they say about big feet? 

Yes. this mary soo troll is a Gary Stue wtih a GINORMOUS WEENER. 

and Hermione is teyrin gto tach him how eto typoe. 

"i feleel sorry for them, ron," she sad, "because we keep ikcing wandss sup their noses and then trying to stupefy them and make them dumber and fall down and knowkc them heaids so they pass out. but really, can't theybe seweet like hahhririd?" 

who also has a ginormous vcock, btw. we know because unseen turned draco into hagrid sthe other month. 

hagrid is not a troll. he is a giant. with a giant weener. 

but the wy into hermione's pants is really not agiant cock, or not giant cock alone. it's giant cock plus LIRACY. er. LITERACY. my keybowatrd is slower than my hadns tosmeomtimes. Great for mekaing me floook even more tdrunk than I realy am. 

brcacause a bogo dtroll/mary sue prentetnds to be a wrose drunk adn workse writer. sjust to get featuerd on that ocmm—pottersues. 

wonder wehtehr jkr would sue ootersooss. Er, pottersues. *ndos* NOPE BECAUSE SHE LOVES TRANSFOREMATIVE. worlds. works. better than does teh pottersues mod. 

anyway. 

so the troll isn't rdrunk, just uncoordinated, and ubnhogod at english. there's ar eason theyr'e calseeified as beawsts and not beigns after all, though Hermione isn't sure they aren't actually beings because ethey could jsut be developemnetally calhallenged. and retards are peopel too. and deserv sex. if hety want it (and only if they want it –we don't liek rape around here, ight? rithg!) 

the troll is writing. te troll is banging on the keyboard like thes:n

kasudhro;aiwe jhoaio'awk;DFNJGi 'r'WGIPZJVX'OLSKMEA I'GIJ GAR V,MN"'JALKJEF PQO J4P  
''jjg'ofl ajwelfnma lkjfpoqt4po pogarjagfj'agrjpsdjdfsjfjagjgajg

jpoag  
oj sfjoaefjo  
gag  
ja'lsekjdf 'JEIHJFGabjosji j  
hinbr 

wow, that roll its talented and somehow turnec sown re the bold face, but doesn'tknow ahow to turn it off.. and anyways, it's not code in htpweml, soe nobody will see it but everyoitthing in thie sc document from hinbr on is bolded. 

hermione isn't sure what the troll is typinhg, nut the trodll seems pretty excieted babout ti. he grunts. a lto f. but that's the only sousdn he makes, reallya,a grundts and moans and hermione is neer really sure what he's atalking about since it's not worksswords hse knows. 

suddenly the troll pnds again on the keyboard and somet how the firevgofox obens, and there is PORN on teh screen. so the troll jsut stares. and pulls out his williiy. and steats jerking it off. it's tooo big. Hermione wishwes she could have someone wiht a cock so big, but it'se dunclear wehether a troll can consent, tyouuu know? 

the troll in'stn thinking clearly, bec ause the porn is too mcuh fun. there are blosekes oin oat it. one bloke is sucking oan the other bloke's willy,b ut eseveral other men are dstantding aroud, jerking their own, and lookign athte one who si gionbeiving the blo ww joba as tif they wanbt wotto own him. and thois is making ahte troll hot. he doesntae knwo whether he want sot tbe the one givieng the bolow foobs or teh onwe ownjnign athat nice littel waink twink's smoths and arsse. amybe both. 

but thn he earsermione oan. oan. damn, why is my mkey so unrealieable??/ the rolr troll hears hermioeni moan , adn sees she's stuck her and in her knickers. AND IT'S SMOVING. he's nver understood chuamnas and nickers. why do they wear closthes ata lal?.howe do you evaluate the wrothienes of a mate when you cand't see everything. the torll glares at Hermione. he grabs teh lapeto[p whse's been trying to teach heim to commionticate with and tiewes to hump it. 

ashe 's about to clsoe it around his cock (he wants tight on his cock, dammit. ticht and wet, well theis is not wet, this comptuerw thinkign, but tmaybhe itwould feel goodc ffolded aroudn him hliek his hand), the compuetr iws grabbed form shim. hrmione is yelling, "NO! you'dll ruin it!" and suree anought the pretty boys are gone form his screen. 

"God, '" Hermiowne muterws, "i cant believe yiou get off lokoig at boypirn too." 

The troldl galreas at her some mroe. 

"RRR" he sais, and piojnts at his cock. 

it's red. sand big. The torll kows it pleases both boy and girl trolls. Hreiomone doens't seem to have a cokc, which disapapointes the troll. but her hand is shiny now, and it osmells interesting. sweteer thant he's used to smelling form lady drolls. 

S sas emthing tot him, but he sodesnt' underst and. He makes a frustarted noise, and she looks at him, showisng teeth. but it's the kind of shoing teeth wehere he's preety sures she own;t bit. Hrlips turn up, in a frienwely some sort of wya. 

then the troll strokes his cock harder, and makes an oise that any idiot trol lady would kmnow means he WANTS. and Hermione butshy hair and all seems to under stand. 

:ppor baby," she says. "YOu need some help with hat?" 

Troll strokes his dick harder, but with his aother hands hie reachers fr her. he pushes her down so her headc is near his cocak, and grunts. lousldy. 

and then, good. Warm, hot, wet as her motuh goeas around his cock. she squinters her eyes, and her nose is going funny, like she doesn't liek it and wants to stop. bbut troll grabs at her hair, and stuffs his cock in her mouth. 

it fills it. she doesn't need to work at sucking it for him to feel it soo so tightaround him. 

whe wonders what it would be like in her hold. hole. iehter hole—the one in the front of a lday troll or thoe one all trolls have—the onge the poo comes from. 

troll lieks it when the bigger troll cocks go in his hole. he grabs hermioen's heair againa dn abuts pushes her onto the floor, ready to plow her. 

hermione makes noises: oomphs and ahs, and ows, ads she hits the floor. the roll grabs her hips, then reachers up to the handles thteat the lady trrolls ahve on their cestss. hermoew cries out, ut she pushes her butt back onto the torll. 

he pushes, and she screams. he can't get into her butt. he slips hisc cokck down. it's very wet, and his clumsy self spushes his cock all the way until it hists something that's not itn the tight place, but that makes Hreimione jwhimper and say "fuck, yeah." Thre torlll lests his cokc bumpt hat spots alittle, but knews that the better par willl come when he (ha! come! ) gets into a spot even alitele behind it and so he mobes back and forth until something gives and he sinks in, imposseibley wet and tight and happy. 

he can semll eher tear. 

he's happy. The torll feels liek everyitng is just in his weener. and he loves feeling his own weener pulsing agaisnt ehsts walls that pusle back. he pushes isn and out, ahreder and harder andmoves his hands so that he can shove Hermioenw's legs togheter, thrying to get it even tighter. 

It doesn't work, but every wo soften she squeezes him, and that's good. mmm. 

 

and now I'm not drunk enough to write anymore, so there you have it.


End file.
